A Joke

An elderly couple is lying in bed. It is late and the man in trying to sleep. The woman on the other is feeling a little romantic so she begins to talk.

"Remember when we were first dating? You used to hold my hand all the time."

The man, wanting to get some sleep, reaches out sleepily and holds the womans hand for a short while and then lets go and attempts to go back to sleep.

Meanwhile the old woman still hasn't given up.

"Remember that after holding my hand, you would give me a kiss?"

Getting a bit irritated, the man turns over and hastily plants a quick peck on his wife's cheek and tries to go to sleep again.

The woman continued on.

"Remember how after that, you used to gently nibble on my neck."

Upon hearing this, the man angrily throws the sheets off and proceeds to get up.

Surprised and upset, the woman ask, "Where are you going?"

To which the man replied, "To get my teeth so that I can nibble on your neck."

Sh*tty Post

I was trying to think of something witty to write but all that came to mind was something someone told me recently.

Ever realise that human beings are the only creature on the entire surface of the planet that has to wipe its arse after taking a dump, coz if we don't, we leave fecal matter stuck in the vicinity of the chocolate starfish and this could lead to infections and other unpleasant stuff.

Why does fecal matter get stuck? Unlike most (I was going to say all but I'm not 100% sure) mammals, we have butt cheeks that obscure the opening so anything coming out would have to first squeeze past the butt cheeks before making it to freedom. I wonder why our butts are designed this way?

Any suggestions?