19 Jan 2006

What women want that the bear doesn't have

Was talking with a few of my friends just now and I have to come the realisation that there are a few traits a woman wants in a man that I am sorely missing. So to help all the prospective would be future girlfriends of mine (those that I do not mistake for a midnight snack), here a list of what women want that the bear doesn't have.

1. The bear does not notice what you have done to your hair unless it involves something drastic like cutting half of it off, dyeing it bright pink or green or tying it into buns like Princess Leia. Perms (digital or analog) will not be noticed. Rebonding, unbonding, singeing will not be notice. Unless you are a gadget I'm planning to buy and have done some major comparison shopping, save yourself the time and frustration and just tell what you did to your hair. I don't guess very well.

2. The bear does not do shopping very well. For most days, the thought of shopping drives the bear nuts. Being required to follow someone around, trying to guess if she looks fat in something or not, if this dress is nicer than that dress, are these shoes comfy, does not do wonders for the bears mood. In fact, it could leave you with unwanted bite marks and the missing limb or 2.On some days, which normally occur only once every 6 months or so, the bear is in a good mood and is able to go shopping with you for an extended period of time. Extended in this case meaning 2 to 4 hours. No more. Anymore than that and you get back the bear on non good shopping mood days.

3. Hair. While most bears have plenty of hair all over, this bear isn't one of them. You can thank my genes for that. If anything, this bear has a lack of hair all over, even the top of the head. If you are looking for someone with a healthy head of hair and low IQ, look somewhere else. The bear is of high IQ and low hair. The reason being, the brain needed space to expand so it pushed the hair out to make room.

4. The bear will never understand why you need so many pairs of shoes. We realised that you server an important function by buying shoes. Without you buying shoes, slippers, sandals and various other footwear, whole economies would grind to a halt. People would stay. The world as we know it would end. Having said that, this does not mean that I agree with a woman having over 20 pairs of shoes. Ladies are like men and bears, 2 feet, no more, no less. Unless you are an octopus, why do you need so many pairs of shoes?

So, is there anything else you think the bear is missing that women want? Feel free to comment.


transient said...

You sure have improved much since the first day I got to know you better..

Don't worry too much about what women wants. Each of us wants different things. The one woman who appreciates your qualities is your real mate. Don't try to change yourself..but I'll probably pinpoint some areas that you might wanna work on coz it's typically expected by most girls.

1) Pay attention to mood changes - girls often have PMS. Something beyond their control..so be forgiving.
2) Be more sensitive
3) Be nice, sweet and occasionally lavish attention on girls will definitely score you points
4) Don't be kiam siap when it comes to dinner & movies (actually you are quite generous in this area..good.)
5) Be caring, considerate and forgiving
6) Be a gentleman (you sure have a lot of points here) - no one likes a door slapped in her face

If you conquer the areas above, you already win most of the men out there.

Anonymous said...

this is almost too easy.

As seen from given list, the bear has no idea what women want. None whatsoever. Let the duck help you out with what women want that the bear doesn't have.

1. trust fund.
2. Mercedes or ferrari or bmw or all of the above.
3. face/physique like brad pitt/takeshi kaneshiro/tom cruise/leonardo di caprio/josh harnett/wentworth miller (select as many as apply)

get those three things and they won't give a damn whether you want to go shopping, can understand why they need shoes or notice their hair. Quack!